You cannot be a failure unless you have determined you are a failure. There is no such thing as a failure; it is a made-up concept — as is a success.
As Earl Nightingale put it, success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal, and that worthy ideal is whatever we decide it to be.
That’s the thing about success, there is no unified definition as society makes it appear. Success — as we know — doesn’t equate to fame, wealth, and material possessions. Success is whatever you want it to be.
“Don’t get entangled in someone else’s definition of what success should be. Create your own narrative; forge your own path. Redefine what success is, and allow it to mean whatever you believe it to be. What does success look like for you?” — Cyndie Spiegal
Question what success looks like for you. If you decide that success equates to fulfilling your never-ending list of desires, you will be enslaved to attaining “success” for the rest of your life. If you pause for a second to question what success looks and feels like for you, you will have something most people never experience during their time on earth.
Am I A Failure?
At some point, you probably felt like you were a failure because of where you were in life and the choices you made. But here’s the thing…you aren’t a failure unless you give yourself the title of one. Most of the time, we subject ourselves to failure status because we indirectly or directly compare ourselves to those around us.
“Look at everything that person has accomplished, attained, and accumulated” is a thought that runs through our heads at times. But this kind of thinking will lock you into a vicious cycle of discontentment, a lack of gratitude, and consistent competition with others.
Decide for yourself today what it is you genuinely desire. Are the money, the wealth, and possessions going to do it for you? Are you supposed to have a perfect life, perfect relationship, perfect car, perfect job, perfect home, and perfect finances at a certain age?
Is all of this going to make you happy? When you die, are you going to take your wealth, possessions, titles, degrees, and accomplishments with you to the grave?
Most of the shit society teaches us to care and stress over is insignificant. If we take a moment to think for ourselves, we will realize that our unique definition of what success means to us is different from everyone else.
No matter where you are in life, you are not a failure. Could you have accomplished more at your age? Probably. But does that really matter? No. What matters is what you decide to do to live a meaningful life and who you decide to be from this point.
What About My Mistakes?
What about the mistakes you’ve made?
Your mistakes will do one of two things: refine you or define you.
“Fate is what befalls a man that fails to act. Destiny is for men who refuse to accept their failures as their fate.” — Unknown
Frequently people will feel their lives are over because of past decisions; people willingly allow their pasts to define them. There is another way to go about handling mistakes, though, let your mistakes refine you. Allow your mistakes to show you another way to do things so that life moving forward looks differently, is more productive, and works in your favor.
Food For Thought
The next time you feel like you’re a failure, ask yourself the following questions:
When was the last time I helped someone in need?
How often do I give to others?
Who have I positively impacted during my time on earth?
How will I give back to others in the future?
Life isn’t about attaining; it’s about giving. You can never fail or be a failure when you focus your life on giving back to others.
Destiny S. Harris is a writer, poet, entrepreneur, teacher, and techie who offers free books daily on amazon. Destiny obtained three degrees in political science, psychology, and women’s studies. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, or @ destinyh.com