Get Comfortable With The Consequences Of Saying "No" To People
Trust me, they'll be okay // But if they aren't, oh well
I’ve had to say no to many people, situations, things, obligations, and decisions.
We all have.
For some of us, the problem is that we struggle with saying “No,” which gets us in trouble emotionally, mentally, and physically.
The truth is, we all could probably use the phrase “no” a little more in our lives. It will save us stress, bitterness, unhappiness, anxiety, and trauma.
Sometimes, I still fear saying “no” to people because of the repercussions that may follow. Many people are uncomfortable when people tell them “no” because they struggle to implement boundaries themselves.
Here’s the thing, though, am I not going to implement boundaries because someone else is struggling to implement them into their life? No. That’s insanity.
Learn to say “no” more often. Don’t worry about the consequences. In fact, I encourage you to get comfortable with potential consequences. If you lose an opportunity or a relationship, another will come to replace it.
It’s a broken record, but when one door closes, many can open up afterward. It’s happened to me several times over, so the same can happen to you.
I still remember a leader asking me to do something outside of my boundaries; instead of bending as most people do to authoritative figures, I said, “no,” and it was the most empowering feeling. I finally got to the point where I no longer feared saying “no” to someone in leadership. “No” became my new best friend after that. I’m not afraid anymore.
“No” is one of the most liberating words we can say to others, but ourselves as well.
Say “no” to your addictions.
Say “no” to your bad habits.
Say “no” to your problematic reactions.
Say “no” to your unproductive behaviors.
Say “no” to your negative thought patterns.
Say “no” to living up to the expectations others have of you.
Say “no” to those who mean no harm but are crossing your boundaries.
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Get Comfortable With The Consequences Of Saying "No" To People
The day I did not get picked because a young lady was called, "Sister", by the dudes who hung out and played on the basketball court. She was a better basketball player than I was at the time. I was about eleven years old, so I was not really interested in basketball. I was just trying to learn or figure out how to play the game eventually. One of my favorite basketball players was an older dude named Crenshaw, he once made a spectacular double pump jump shot from the top of the key against a dude who was guarding trying to Crenshaw. This spectacular moment happened one evening at Harlem Park Junior High School in a pick up game or recreation game. I remember that play like it yesterday, so I think my interest in basketball was because of Crenshaw playing ability and he was just a cool dude from my perspective as a young kid.
Crenshaw may have played high school basketball at Carver High School, but
Crenshaw, he was one of the dudes everyone wanted to play with or be on his team at the playground court that was behind the houses on Harlem Avenue and Lanvale Avenue and behind the Catholic School on Arlington Avenue. It was my introduction to the struggle of not getting picked, but trying to get understanding of the game of basketball at the age of eleven. Basketball is game inside of a game; consequently, it is more mental than physical.