How To Properly Maintain Financial Success In Relationships
Relationships either positively or negatively affect your money.
The 4 Types of People In Dating
Time and time again, I’ve come across four primary types of people when it comes to dating:
1. Person A — The Dutcher
The broke person that wants to split everything and go 100% dutch.
2. Person B — The “Kept”
The person that wants to have everything paid for by the other person.
3. Person C — Big Spender, Big Ego
The big spender with the big ego who wants to show off and present a specific image.
4. Person D — Financial Guru
The financial savvy person may or may not have a lot of money but knows how to use it properly to protect oneself financially.
Questions for You
Which person do you tend to be when you’re dating someone?
Do you know which person is the most dangerous to be?
Answer: Person C — Big Spender, Big Ego, but Person B — The “Kept” comes in second, and I’ll tell you why.
Showing Off Is A Dangerous Game — Person C
When you live above your means, a consequence has to reveal itself at some point. The question is, how long will it take a person to change their habits after getting a whiff of those consequences? The longer a person takes to change their financial habits, the bigger the consequences.
Some of my closest friends have fallen into this category, and it’s hard to watch. I’ve seen men, who earn six figures and live in low-cost neighborhoods, transition from maintaining and building their emergency funds and investing to living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to afford a $200 plane ticket to visit their family.
I’ve seen people tell their partners, who lost their job, they don’t need to work and can take a break to focus on their creative passions. Despite the fact, their partner’s income was pivotal and necessary to the couple’s financial success.
“First pride, then the crash — the biggest the ego, the harder the fall.” — Proverbs 16:18
Unfortunately, some people’s egos are so big, they don’t know how to say no when their partner wants something that will hurt them financially.
For Person C, bitterness, malice, stress, resentment, and anger often result from not implementing financial boundaries with your dating partner.
Being Kept Is A Dangerous Game — Person B
I wrote an article called, “I Enjoy Paying For My Own Sh*t,” not too long ago. This article aims to encourage women (primarily) to be financially independent and never willingly give up the privilege, but this wholeheartedly applies to men as well; I’ve seen this wisdom apply to both sides.
There is nothing more attractive and empowering than a person who has their financial shit together. Independence is a gift that not everyone experiences in their lives — especially women.
When I come across people who don’t want to work and provide for themselves because they want to be “kept,” which is synonymous with being taken care of, I always wonder why they would ever want to give that kind of power away.
Being kept is more than just being financially taken care of; in many cases, being kept equates to not having full access and control to your living. Remember, for some people, gifts, money, and provision come with stipulations and expectations. The people depending on these things from their partners don’t always meet those expectations and get thrown to the curb because they didn’t have their own car, house, and income.
Some people genuinely enjoy providing for their partners and do not develop a higher sense of control or resentment, but this is not the case in the least for many others.
How to Handle Your Money In Relationships/Dating
Protect yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally when you’re in a relationship, but remember to protect yourself financially; unfortunately, many people forget to do this and get third-degree burns.
Money Tips For People Dating or In Relationships
Live below your means.
Learn how and when to say NO.
Implement financial boundaries.
Maintain your financial independence.
Don’t show off your financial portfolio, whether it’s fat or skinny.
Be cautious of the consequences of shacking up with someone who doesn’t value maintaining a healthy relationship with their finances.
Spenders and savers will usually clash — especially if both are extreme with their habits and their habits are negatively affecting each other’s financial health.
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Destiny S. Harris is a writer, poet, entrepreneur, teacher, and techie who offers free books daily on amazon. Destiny obtained three degrees in political science, psychology, and women’s studies. Follow her on instagram, facebook, destinyh.com, or join the tribe.
This article is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered Financial or Legal Advice. Not all information will be accurate. Consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions.