The Poem
“Paranoia, loss, defeat — they consume me,
My deepest fears lay heavily on my chest.
Terrors that pollute my mind never cease,
I seek comfort, but I can never truly rest.
Shadows at night whisper a dreadful tale,
My past taunts me — I revisit that hell.
I am strong, but inside I am bleeding,
Desperate for hope — my heart is pleading.
I seek the sun — but there are only violent rains.
I seek grace — but there are only profound pains.
I seek myself — but only a shattered soul remains.
Then I decide to pick up the pieces to my soul.
I remember who I am.
I am a man. I am a champion. I am a warrior.
I will brandish my sword and bare my shield.
And this is why to my pain and darkness…
I will never yield.”
Reflections: The Warrior & His Shattered Soul
This poem resonates deeply within my soul — within my entire being. Human beings consistently fail and experience loss, defeat, fear, paranoia, and hardship; this poem reflects the plights of human existence.
We can’t run away from the challenges that life brings us; yes, people can end their lives or seek temporary relief from destructive outlets, but we must face our demons and find our unique inner strength to live a whole and complete life.
Our strength is always there, but we must dig deep into the unknown to find it to bring us back up to a functioning status.
One-Line Interpretations
Line 1: “Paranoia, loss, defeat — they consume me”
Our thoughts become things. If we do not control and monitor our thoughts, they can develop obstreperously. Furthermore, when it seems like you keep losing, you have to be cautious that you don’t take the losses personally, so they don’t define you.
Line 2: “My deepest fears lay heavily on my chest”
Fear is heavy, and it can weigh a person down if they don’t tend to it soon enough.
Line 3: “Terrors that pollute my mind never cease”
Unkept fear is perilous; it insidiously overtakes the mind, soul, and body until it becomes you.
Line 4: “I seek comfort, but I can never truly rest”
When you are engulfed in your fears and hardship, you live distant from peace; peace is nowhere to be found because though you seek it, you’re too focused on your negative thoughts.
Line 5: “Shadows at night whisper a dreadful tale”
The shadows represent the voices and thoughts that remind us of our past mistakes.
Line 6: “My past taunts me — I revisit that hell”
For some, their past is a hell. You must seek to face your past so that you can overcome your past. If you don’t, your past will continue to haunt you.
Line 7: “I am strong, but inside I am bleeding”
People want to be seen as strong, but inside, we are all facing our demons. On the inside, we are weak (at times).
Line 8: “Desperate for hope — my heart is pleading”
When you get to the point of desperation, it can mean one of two things:
1. You are going to get the help you need
2. You are going to seek a temporary escape
Desperation can be a turning point for good or for bad.
Line 9: “I seek the sun — but there are only violent rains”
Some people seek immediate relief (e.g., substance abuse, suicide, sex, etc.) from the darkness, but it only leads to more pain and more darkness. You must face your demons and deal with them to find holistic healing.
Don’t just seek the sun; devour the sun.
Line 10: “I seek grace — but there are only profound pains”
The pains of hardship don’t dissipate so easily; there is ample suffering involved. Often, all you can do is push through it, and that — the strength to push through hardship — is the grace.
Line 11: “I seek myself — but only a shattered soul remains”
After you face your demons, who is the person left to pick up the pieces? It can feel like you’re empty and there is nothing left to live for, which is why you have to dig deep for inner strength and piece back together yourself: “Then I decide to pick up the pieces to my soul.”
Line 12: “Then I decide to pick up the pieces to my soul”
Strength is often a choice. Will you decide to be strong, or will you decide to be weak?
Line 13: “I remember who I am”
Who are you at your core? How would you describe the best version of yourself when you are in a positive and joyous mood? You must find this person when you are lost within the darkness, and remember who the best and strongest version of yourself is.
Line 14: “I am a man [woman]. I am a champion. I am a warrior.”
Positive incantations, affirmations, and self-talk are key to obliterating our limits and moving through (past) our struggles.
Line 15: “I will brandish my sword and bare my shield”
Be a fighter. Be brave and courageous. Be who you admire. Prepare for battle, and prepare to win. Be the warrior.
Your sword is your mind, and your shield is your resilience, courage, and persistence.
Line 16: “And this is why to my pain and darkness…I will never yield”
Don’t take the easy way out. Fight. Fight for your life. Fight for your mental, emotional, and spiritual freedom. Fight the darkness instead of allowing it to overtake your entire existence. The darkness is always seeking new hosts; don’t be one of them.
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Destiny S. Harris is a writer, poet, entrepreneur, teacher, and techie who offers free books daily on amazon. Destiny obtained three degrees in political science, psychology, and women’s studies. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, or @ destinyh.com