The Self-Worth Dilemma

Some of us have been brainwashed.

Some of us have been brainwashed.

Brainwashed into believing that we do not deserve the best. Some of us believe we are unworthy of having or experiencing something or someone that fills us with joy.

So many of us believe that we deserve to be paid the bare minimum… even though we work our asses off.

So many of us stay with “good” people that don’t even make us happy, but we stay because we feel that being with a “good” person is good enough.

Why do some of us only ask for salaries and benefits that are below what we truly desire?

We feel we don’t deserve more; we think that anything above the minimum or what we are used to is not worthy of us. We question our competence. We question our worth…and so does everyone else.

Why do some of us only apply for jobs in which we are overqualified?

We are scared to step out of our comfort zone and believe we could never land a job that appears to be above our qualifications.

Why do some of us stay in jobs for the long haul with horrible bosses and co-workers?

It is easier to settle, complain, and do nothing, than to get out of our comfort zone and improve our lives.

Why do some of us feel we are worthless if we do not have the best education or any at all?

We have let society determine our worth based on a piece of paper that really means nothing.

Why do some of us stay in long-term abusive (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual) relationships?

We feel we do not deserve better. For some reason, we do not believe someone else could love us any better. We also do not love ourselves.

Why do many of us settle for the status quo in all areas of our lives?

We believe this is what we deserve; we can’t fathom experiencing anything better.

Why do some of us maintain relationships with people that only bring us down?

We believe these relationships are the only ones we can have. We are scared to make new friends, we have trust issues, and we don’t believe anyone could accept us because we don’t even accept ourselves.

Upbringing and family roots can affect a person’s self-worth.

Some people teach their children to value not only themselves but also to value their desires, thoughts, dreams, and opinions.

Other people come up in families that have the following mentality:

  • Be happy with what you have.

  • Accept what you get.

  • Don’t get greedy.

  • Work hard and accept your lot in life.

  • If you ask for too much, it could backfire, and you could lose everything.

I’m not sure why families teach this latter mentality, besides the fact they were taught to think the same.

Something I have learned though is to never undermine and sell myself short. It can be extremely uncomfortable to ask for what you want (especially when you are not used to doing this).

Still, once you get into the practice of it, it becomes a lot easier and eventually becomes second nature to ask for what you want and know without a doubt in your mind that you deserve it.

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Affirmation: I choose to be the most positive version of my past self today.

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