I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of self-sabotage at some point in our lives — some more than others. But why? What do we get out of rejecting ourselves before giving others, opportunities, and life a chance to show us that we are worthy of acceptance?
It’s apparent that most of us want to be accepted, loved, praised, worthy, and respected in today’s world. But before we can genuinely experience this from the world around us, we need to give ourselves acceptance, love, praise, self-worth, and respect; acceptance won’t mean a thing coming from others if we don’t even have the capacity to give it to ourselves.
The greatest trap in our life, is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection. — Henry Nouwen
Self-Worth
The foundation of self-sabotage derives from a lack of self-worth. One way to build up your self-worth is to start believing in yourself and taking a chance on yourself. You must believe in yourself before others can. Be okay with rejection. Become desensitized to rejection; once you do this, there are no limits to what you can accomplish.
If you continue to engage in self-sabotage, you are subjecting yourself to an amply limited life. Do you want to continue blowing opportunities? Do you want to continue settling for mediocrity?
I had a mentee I was referring for a position at a top tech company I worked for, and they conveyed they felt out of their league; my mentee was acclimated to working for mediocre and on-the-highway-to-nowhere type companies. I encouraged my mentee to treat this new career opportunity just like any other opportunity and believe they have every right to be on this level.
Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Realize that you don’t have to continue settling for mediocre — this is a choice you can alter at any point.
Put Yourself Out There: Here’s Some Motivation
Don’t think you deserve the job? Apply for it anyway.
Don’t think your article is good enough? Publish it anyway.
Don’t think they’ll reply to your email? Send it anyway.
Don’t think they’ll respond to your text? Send it anyway.
Don’t think your picture is good enough? Post it anyway.
Don’t think they’ll accept you? Be yourself anyway.
Don’t think you’ll make the sale? Go for the sale anyway.
Don’t think they’ll go on a date with you? Ask to go out anyway.
Don’t think you’ll have enough strength to finish? Keep going anyway.
Don’t think you can do it? Do it anyway.
Don’t think you’re young enough? Who cares.
Don’t think you’re attractive enough? So what?
Don’t think you’re beautiful? Be the new standard of beauty.
Don’t think you’re good enough? Go for it anyway.
Don’t think you’re healthy enough? Get healthy!
Don’t think you’re worthy enough? Fake it until you feel worthy enough.
Don’t think they’ll like you? Like yourself.
Don’t think you’re the right fit? Be the new fit.
Rejection Is Just Redirection
And when we put ourselves out there, we don’t need to fear rejection. We can embrace rejection, knowing that we have a beautiful gift called self-acceptance. The right people and opportunities will accept us at the right time. Know that when you are rejected, you are merely being redirected in a better direction.
Closing Thoughts
Believe in yourself — even when you don’t feel like it, or you feel you don’t have the capability to believe. Accept yourself — even when you don’t feel you’re worthy of being accepted. Stop assassinating your opportunities! Don’t self-reject.
Thank you for taking the time to #elevate your life with this quick read. Grab your free books here — Destiny S. Harris’ Free Amazon Book Page. Wanna keep in touch? Connect with me on Instagram: @textdestiny, Facebook: @textdestiny, or my Website.