You Don’t Have To Convince Me of Your Significance

The dangerous game of seeking validation in the digital age.

“When you believe in yourself, you don’t have to convince anyone else of your significance.” — Cyndie Spiegal

We are in the day and age of proving ourselves to the world, especially people we don’t know. The need to show others how much money we have, how in love we are with our significant other, how happy we are, how excited we are about our new FAANG job offer, how fashionable we dress, how luxurious or epic our cars are, how much success we’re experiencing, and how great our life is has been flooding the social media feeds.

I recently read a post of a woman who was relishing that people always ask her and her husband how they remain so happy all the time. Next thing you know, it accidentally leaks that her “amazing” significant other is unashamedly cheating on her with someone else. Yup, they aren’t as happy as people thought they were, but they sure as hell made it seem that way with all of the perfect nonstop pictures they publicly and frequently posted about each other.

Her situation isn’t unique. Humans are addicted to showing off, and it seems we won’t stop anytime soon. We want everyone to know how good we got it — even if we don’t.

I always wonder, though, what is the purpose of showing how great our lives are to the world? What value do we get out of it? Why do we crave validation from others to the point we create perfect lies about our imperfect lives?

When you believe in yourself, your relationships, your definition of success, and your life, you have nothing to prove to the world. You simply let your life, success, and positive experiences speak for themselves; this is absolute confidence and freedom.

Is it wrong to post about the good in your life? Of course, not. But the game of life gets dangerous when you prioritize external validation; it’s a game that never ends and can never be won. 

Fact: Prioritizing external validation degrades your mental health. 


Destiny S. Harris is a writer, poet, entrepreneur, teacher, and techie who offers free books daily on amazon. Destiny obtained three degrees in political science, psychology, and women’s studies. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, or @ destinyh.com.

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